Rick Brunson, Jalen Brunson and the line between father and son

Early in New York Knicks guard Jalen Brunson’s athletic journey, his father, Rick Brunson, established what would become the rock-solid foundation of their relationship.

No matter how accomplished Jalen Brunson became, no matter how great his celebrity, the boundaries between father and son would be drawn clearly.

“The most important thing about a father is that you can’t be a fan. You’ve got to be a father,” Brunson told me during a phone conversation Wednesday morning. “With my son and me, I’m his father. I’m not your friend, I’m not your buddy, I’m not a fan. He doesn’t cross that line and I don’t cross that line.”

Brunson, now a Knicks assistant coach, has watched his son transform into an NBA superstar. On Tuesday, he watched Jalen score 44 points as the Knicks took a 3-2 lead over the Indiana Pacers in their Eastern Conference semifinals series. The 44-point performance marked the fifth time Brunson has scored at least 40 points in the postseason, the most since Los Angeles Lakers forward LeBron James accomplished the feat in 2018. The Knicks and Pacers play in Game 6 on Friday (8:30 p.m. ET, ESPN).

Brunson is still the father, Jalen is the son, but the dad has made a bit of concession in the relationship.

“I can say this respectfully and proudly: Sometimes I wish I was him,” Brunson said. “To watch your son and say, ‘I wanted to do that. I didn’t have the talent, you know what I mean?’ So, it’s usually the other way: Your son wants to be like dad. Well, I want to be like the son. I tell him all the time. I say it proudly, ‘Man, I wish I was you.’ ”

Part of my fascination with Jalen Brunson’s journey comes from covering his dad’s journey as well.

I met Rick Brunson in 1991 when he was a freshman at Temple under legendary coach John Chaney (“My father,” he called Chaney). After his four-year career at Temple, Brunson embarked on an arduous nine-season pro career that saw him bounce from one team, one level to the next.

I was with Brunson in 2016 when he watched his son win the first of his two national championships with Villanova. When we spoke before that 2016 national championship game, Brunson said he had to pinch himself each day because the experience of watching his son was so surreal.

If he had to pinch himself then, what has it been like watching his son become one of the NBA’s hottest players during the playoffs, along with Nikola Jokić, Anthony Edwards, and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander?

Frankly, for Brunson, it’s not been as much fun watching from the Knicks bench as an assistant coach.

“It’s gratifying, but when you’re in the stands watching it, you are like, ‘Wow, I’m here watching my son’s national championship.’ But when you’re on the bench as a coach, you have a lot of emotions. But I know for me, I try to keep everything inside, because you can’t show. You’re a coach, you have a job to do. So, I don’t really enjoy it like I did sitting in the stands.

“I’m a nervous wreck. Like, last night [Game 5] — my stomach — you got the highs, you got the lows. It’s just like, ‘Jesus.’ But to sit in the Garden, I tell you last night it was unbelievable.”

After Tuesday’s game, young Brunson went over to a group of former Knicks — Patrick Ewing, John Starks, Larry Johnson, Stephon Marbury — sat and exchanged hugs. “He was a baby when I played with them,” Brunson said. “And it’s just like a full circle. It’s crazy. It was unbelievable.”

Jalen Brunson is 27 years old. I asked Brunson to compare himself at age 27 with his son.

“We had the same passion, the same grit, the same work ethic. We just didn’t have the same talent,” he said.

“Jalen has a very calm demeanor. I was a nervous type of player. Remember, it’s different. I was playing to feed two kids, and Jalen’s playing, it’s just him and his wife right now.”

Brunson was cut eight times during a pro basketball career that he began in 1995 as an undrafted free agent.

Brunson played for Adelaide 36ers in Australia for a year, and followed that with the Quad City Thunder of the now defunct Continental Basketball Association. He followed that up in 1997 with the Connecticut Pride of the CBA. Brunson finally made an NBA roster in 1997 at age 25 when he spent a year with the Portland Trail Blazers. The next year, it was back overseas to the Philippine Basketball Association, where he played for Barangay Ginebra San Miguel for a year, then back to the CBA with the Pride. Brunson had his first tour of duty with the Knicks in 1999.

After 1999, Brunson had stints with the Boston Celtics, the Knicks and Blazers again, the Toronto Raptors, Chicago Bulls (twice), LA Clippers, Seattle SuperSonics and Houston Rockets before retiring in 2006. While he worked out each summer, he made his son ride his bike around the local track as he ran his five miles.

“It was the stress of working out all summer, not spending time with my kids as they were getting older,” he said. “I just thought I’d had enough.”

The other thing Brunson said when we spoke back in 2016, was that he did not want his son to live the kind of nomadic NBA life that he had lived. “As a parent I am trying to prevent that,” he said. “You always want to give your son an easier path. He does have the mental tenacity to do what I did, but as a father I don’t want him to make the mistakes that I made.”

During this point in the conversation, I asked Brunson what he thought as a father about the controversy surrounding James’ desire to play with his son Bronny. Brunson said he totally understands the dynamic. Before joining the Knicks coaching staff, Brunson coached at Camden High School.

“I coached against Bronny and I said it right there that he was an NBA player,” Brunson said. “He’s going to get scrutinized and all that stuff because of his father, but to have a chance to play with your son? Come on, man, that’s like … that’s like the best. That’s more than anything he [LeBron James] has ever done in his career. Anything, any championship ever won.”

When Brunson and I began our conversation, he stressed the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between being Jalen’s parent and being his coach.

“I’m pretty much 95% a coach,” he said. “The 5% when I’m a dad is when he starts complaining and talking to the refs over and over.”

There was a game in Dallas three years ago when the Mavericks were getting trounced and Jalen Brunson was playing terribly. “It got to a point where we were losing, we’re down 20. He was playing like s— and all he did was complain the whole first half. And I as a dad, I got tired. I said, ‘Man, will you shut the f— up and go in the locker room?’

“He looked at me, he said, ‘That’s what we’re doing?’ And I said, ‘Yes, that’s what the f— we’re doing.’ And when I say that, that means that’s enough. And he said, ‘OK.’ He knows I’m serious.”

The other dad moment game after the Knicks had eliminated the Philadelphia 76ers in the first round of the 2024 playoffs. That was particularly sweet not only because the series was hard-fought, but also because the Brunsons make their home in Philadelphia.

“We live here, it’s our home, we grew up here,” Rick Brunson said. “Obviously, he went to high school in the suburbs of Chicago, but we’re from here. And we’re diehard Eagles fans and all that. And to beat Philly in Philly, I just went up to him and gave him a big hug. I usually don’t do that. But that was a dad moment. That was like, this is my son. That was great.”

Brunson is watching his son enjoy the kind of career he could only have dreamed of. After spending four seasons with the Dallas Mavericks, Jalen Brunson made the made the leap to New York when the Mavericks balked at giving him the contract he believed he deserved. Jalen Brunson signed a four-year, $104 million contract with the Knicks in 2022.

In two seasons with the Knicks, Jalen Brunson has silenced most of the critics who believed the Knicks overpaid for his services. That has made this season the best ever for his father.

“This year’s been a little bit easier because there was so much hype and so much negativity around him being overpaid,” Brunson said. “Now that he’s established himself as who he is and a good player, I would say this is probably the best year as a dad, sitting there relaxed and calm and not nervous.”

Proud dad, hard-nosed coach and, yes, a tiny bit of a fan.